Body Safety Blog

In U.S. law, there is a clear distinction between 1st-degree murder, 2nd-degree murder, and manslaughter.

You can also say that they are all the same thing because someone was killed in all those situations.

This is how many are currently using the word grooming- as if it encapsulates many cultural issues today.

The main distinction between 1st-degree murder, 2nd-degree murder, and manslaughter is their intent.

In law, the intent is everything.

Same with grooming and why defining this clearly is so important.

If we don't have a clear definition, we can call everything grooming.

The broad term 'grooming' means to 'prepare someone for something'. But if you are going to say that children are being sexually groomed, then we must be specific about how that word is being applied.

My issue is that child sexual grooming means a very specific thing, but the term #groomer is being applied very broadly. The word grooming loses its meaning.

And if that is the ...

For many parents, the end of the calendar year is full of celebration for the holidays, but shortly after is the beginning of a new school year! Usually, this is for parents of young children who are entering school for the very first time.

Understandably, many parents trust schools to be safe spaces. That is what is sold to parents as the 'tradition' that is school.

But how exactly can you be so sure? How can we make sure that schools are following proper safety policies and procedures, and who determines those policies and procedures?

I know as a mom of three, having children in the school system, that I have received the school handbook, which typically has a short section on child safety.

Some schools have a separate child safety handbook, but it's still full of basics that are mostly, so parents have information about what's expected of their child and what the school rules are.

It doesn't typically go in depth about how they make sure that staff are safe persons (we assume t...

It's that time of year when schools/teachers/daycares host 'secret santa' activities.

This can be LOTS of fun for little ones, but it's also a great opportunity to educate the adults in your child's life about "Secrets Safety".

Here's a letter you can send to your schools principal and/or teacher.

I recommend BOTH.

And here's what you can say:

Hi [Principal's Name],

PLEASE HELP BY SIGNING OUR G7 #BEBRAVE PETITION. CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE.

My name is Rosalia and I'm a survivor of childhood sexual violence.

I started this petition with 8 other survivors from the Brave Movement.

We are 9 survivors of childhood sexual violence from G7 countries and beyond. We are urgently calling on leaders of the world’s richest countries to take bold and transformative action when they meet in June to end childhood sexual violence -- so that what happened to us never happens to another child.

Childhood sexual violence is a global scourge, which at least one in five girls and one in ten boys experience.  It has devastating long-term consequences for children, families, and societies.  And the COVID pandemic has exposed children to even greater risk.

Childhood sexual violence is happening now, in silence, in every nation. In family homes, sports, schools, and places of worship. Also across borders, in the form of online abuse, trafficking, and sexual exploitatio...

Rosalia 00:02 

Alyssa Milano is joining me today. I'm so excited, everyone! Thanks for being here, it is Rosalia Rivera. I'm back for another live with Consent Parenting. I'm so excited that you're here because I am thrilled to be joined today by Alyssa Milano. Does she really need an introduction? I will leave that open because you know, she is just... I've been, you know, following her since I was a kid. She's an incredible actress, producer, activist, advocate, mother, author. She's just doing amazing things in the world. And I'm just so grateful that she's taking the time to join me today. When we see her she's here. Yay. Happy to have her and to talk about what we're going to be talking about today. Oh, let me see me. Sure. There we go. Hi. How are you? 

Alyssa Milano 00:59 

I'm good. How are you? 

Rosalia 01:01 

I'm great. I'm excited. You've made my day. You've made my week, you've made my month. 

Alyssa Milano 01:05 

Oh you're so sweet, thank you so much. I'm excited to ...

Private part safety has many facets. I'll be sharing more about the nuances and intricacies that can help make teaching private part safety less stressful and more comprehensive.⁠⁠
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If you have a toddler, you'll want to check out my upcoming workshop that is specifically for parents in this stage and who are wanting to teach private part safety.⁠⁠

Have you started teaching private part safety and did you know to teach about private part exposure?⁠⁠
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I believe that kids should learn about safe vs unsafe touch so that they recognize when abuse is happening.

But that alone is not going to help prevent abuse.

I've talked about how a 50/50 rule is best when it comes to a more effective abuse prevention strategy.

This means that 50% of your work as a parent, when it comes to sexual abuse prevention, should be to teach your child's circle (family members/relatives, educators, caregivers, etc.) about body safety practices and how to implement them.

And the other 50% should be to teach your child about empowering consent education and abuse prevention information (strategically).

But where I find most parents miss the boat, in the 50% of teaching their kids, is that they don't equip them with the HOW to exit an unsafe situation and how to report/disclose what happened.

Rates of reporting are very low for this reason and it perpetuates the cycle of abuse that a child may be going through. This is why teaching kids ex...

Dear Pedophile & Child Molester,

I see you.

I see the way you were hurt or shamed by someone when you were young, and that this is why you feel you need to hurt someone smaller: to numb the open wound you always carry.

You have an illness.

And like a disease, if not brought under control, this illness will continue to spread through you until it corrupts every part of your humanity. 

But you can stop. This illness can be treated and cured. You don’t have to do this.

Hurt people, hurt people, and I know that maybe you’re deeply hurt and are deeply hurting innocent children.

I see how you resist admitting the truth to yourself: that this is really all about you taking control away from someone else because deep down you feel disempowered. 

I see the shame you feel inside and how it propels you to make decisions that spin you further down the shame spiral—in a self-corrosive and outwardly destructive cycle— where you’ve convinced yourself that your destiny ...

Body literacy is what we are teaching our kids when we teach them the names of their private parts and about the functions of those parts. This can greatly reduce the risks of sexual abuse.

Here's why.

Our (as in everyone's) genitalia, unless medically different, has the most concentration of nerve endings than any other part of the body. It's one of the reasons kids notice this very sensitive part of the body when they begin to have physical self-awareness.

This typically happens before or around the time of potty training, which is when they are transitioning to other materials covering those areas of the body (from diaper to underwear) and it makes the sensations of those areas felt more prominently.

As kids develop more physical self-awareness, it's natural (and normal) for a child to explore their body and those areas in particular. We don't want to shame this self-exploration/self-pleasure because it is part of healthy development and builds body positivity.