42 Questions To Ask Your Child's School

For many parents, the end of the calendar year is full of celebration for the holidays, but shortly after is the beginning of a new school year! Usually, this is for parents of young children who are entering school for the very first time.

Understandably, many parents trust schools to be safe spaces. That is what is sold to parents as the 'tradition' that is school.

But how exactly can you be so sure? How can we make sure that schools are following proper safety policies and procedures, and who determines those policies and procedures?

I know as a mom of three, having children in the school system, that I have received the school handbook, which typically has a short section on child safety.

Some schools have a separate child safety handbook, but it's still full of basics that are mostly, so parents have information about what's expected of their child and what the school rules are.

It doesn't typically go in depth about how they make sure that staff are safe persons (we assume the school does a good job of vetting them), and it doesn't go in-depth about how it assures that students are being safeguarded against abuse by other students. 

Even bullying in general is still a gray area for most schools, and parents don't really know what to do when a child is bullied other than what they learned to do when they themselves were growing up in the school system.

So what can parents do to get more information and transparency?

They can ask questions! 

But if it were that easy, perhaps more parents would ask those questions, right?

There are a few reasons most parents DON'T ask these important questions (and I'll be sharing a great set of questions below that were outlined by Gavin De Becker, author of Protecting the Gift) 

Why Parents Don't Ask More Questions

For starters, most parents just don't know to ask questions. They assume that policy makers and the government has dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's. But after speaking to many parents who finally DO ask questions, school officials respond with things like "I've never had parents ask, and we've not had to deal with issues like that, so we just have the safety policies that are in our handbook".

Other parents don't ask because they don't want to be seen as "that parent", who seems overly concerned with things that most other parents don't seem to worry about. They fear being seen as overprotective or paranoid for no reason.

And yet other parents fear that the school will reject their child or treat them or their child differently for 'stirring the pot'. Because if no one else is asking, then there must be nothing to worry about, right??? 

WRONG!

We should always be asking questions. And we should encourage our children to ask more questions. We should always be confirming the who, what, where, when and why of things. Just as a general practice, because that's what helps everyone keep and stay accountable.

Time and time again we see how organizations and institutions are complicit in abuse because they either overlook the red flag signs of injustice, or they purposefully cover them up because they're protecting their own or someone else's interest.

We need to be brave and ask the necessary questions that will make schools and youth serving organizations safer, not just for our own children, but for all children. This in turn makes our communities safer- and that will continue to create positive ripple effects.

Questions You Should Be Asking

So, what ARE the questions you should be asking your school?

Well, below is an excerpt from Gavin De Beckers book 'Protecting the Gift".

However, there are also other questions, more specific to child sexual abuse policies, that we should also be asking.

And if you are sending your child to a daycare or preschool soon, I also invite you to check out my 5-Day Kindergarten Intensive course. It will provide you with MANY more resources you can use to dramatically reduce the risk and limit opportunities for both adults and peers to abuse your child. 

"Rather than relying on government, you can make at least as vigorous an inquiry of your child’s school as you would of your child’s babysitter. Below is a list of questions that can guide your evaluation of a school. The school should have a ready answer to every one of these questions. If they don’t, the mere fact of your asking (which can be done in writing) will compel them to consider the issues. There may be resources the school feels would improve the safety of children, possibly even resources they have long wanted, and your own participation in the process can help them implement those improvements." -Gavin De Becker

• Do you have a policy manual or teacher’s handbook? May I have a copy or review it here?
• Is the safety of students the first item addressed in the policy or handbook? If not, why not?
• Is the safety of students addressed at all?
• Are there policies addressing violence, weapons, drug use, sexual abuse, child-on-child sexual abuse, unauthorized visitors?
• Are background investigations performed on all staff?
• What areas are reviewed during these background inquiries?
• Who gathers the information?
• Who in the administration reviews the information and determines the suitability for employment?
• What are the criteria for disqualifying an applicant?
• Does the screening process apply to all employees (teachers, janitors, lunchroom staff, security personnel, part-time employees, bus drivers, etc.)?
• Is there a nurse on site at all times while children are present (including before and after school)?
• What is the nurse’s education or training?
• Can my child call me at any time?
• May I visit my child at any time?
• What is your policy for when to contact parents?
• What are the parent notification procedures?
• What are the student pick-up procedures?
• How is it determined that someone other than me can pick up my child?
• How does the school address special situations (custody disputes, child kidnapping concerns, etc.)?
• Are older children separated from younger children during recess, lunch, rest-room breaks, etc.?
• Are acts of violence or criminality at the school documented? Are statistics maintained?
• May I review the statistics?
• What violence or criminality has occurred at the school during the last three years?
• Is there a regular briefing of teachers and administrators to discuss safety and security issues?
• Are teachers formally notified when a child with a history of serious misconduct is introduced to their class?
• What is the student-to-teacher ratio in class? During recess? During meals?
• How are students supervised during visits to the rest-room?
• Will I be informed of teacher misconduct that might have an impact on the safety or well-being of my child?
• Are there security personnel on the premises?
• Are security personnel provided with written policies and guidelines?
• Is student safety the first issue addressed in the security policy and guidelines material? If not, why not?
• Is there a special background investigation conducted on security personnel, and what does it encompass?
• Is there any control over who can enter the grounds?
• If there is an emergency in a classroom, how does the teacher summon help?
• If there is an emergency on the playground, how does the teacher summon help?
• What are the policies and procedures covering emergencies (fire, civil unrest, earthquake, violent intruder, etc.)?
• How often are emergency drills performed?
• What procedures are followed when a child is injured?
• What hospital would my child be transported to in the event of a serious injury?
• Can I designate a different hospital? A specific family doctor?
• What police station responds to the school?
• Who is the school’s liaison at the police department?