Body Safety Blog

Here are the average times kids spend at school: 

Kindergarten: Around 15 to 30 hours per week

• Half-day programs: 3–4 hours per day (15–20 hours per week)
• Full-day programs: 6 hours per day (30 hours per week)

Elementary School (Grades 1–5 or 6): Around 30 to 35 hours per week

• Most schools have a 6- to 7-hour school day, five days a week.

That's a lot of time to trust our kids to a school (and system) that we hardly know...

We drop off our kids hoping that they will have a good day, make friends, not be bullied, eat their lunch, have a compassionate teacher, don't get hurt on the playground, get included in team sports, that the teacher makes learning fun, that they don't fall behind academically, or that their school won't ever have to experience a school shooting (a legitimate concern in the U.S.).

And we receive student or school handbooks that cover everything from food allergy policies, anti-bullying policies, fire drills, classroom conduct, lunch schedules, classr...

Answering Inevitable Questions

How would your parents have reacted if you had asked them this question? Maybe something like 'Why the heck are you asking about that?', or 'Where did you hear that dirty phrase?' or "Don't be asking about things like that?" in either angry, panicked, or shameful tones!

When I was a kid/tween or teen, I knew that asking my mom ANYTHING that had to do with S.E.X. was OFF THE TABLE. No, sir, was I going to raise my mom's wrath!

And also, I figured she might not even know because she NEVER talked about sex.

But I knew, from the start of having kids, that I didn't want to be that way. I knew that I wanted to raise my kids in a sex-positive home that was safe and trustworthy.

That's easy on paper.

It's a nice picture in my head.

The reality (once I had kids) is that it felt scary AF (if I'm being honest).

Fortunately, I've had experts like Melissa Carnagey of Sex Positive Families and Amy Lang of Birds Bees and Kids, help me learn ...

Beth Robinson, author of the book "Protecting Children from Predators" says this about how to determine if your child is ready for sleepovers:

• “Are your children old enough to recognize when someone is trying to engage them in inappropriate sexual behavior? The younger the child, the greater the risk when you let them attend a sleepover. Younger children won’t recognize a risky situation until it is too late.”
• “Are your children assertive enough to draw attention to inappropriate overtures from other children or adults? Some children have the confidence to yell or push away someone who makes them uncomfortable, while others are too timid to try to stop an adult or older child from hurting them. No child should attend a sleepover who lacks the confidence and assertiveness to rebuff inappropriate sexual behavior.”
•  “Will your children call you if something unsafe happens at a sleepover? Some children are easily influenced by peers and won’t tell parents if something goes wrong.”
• “H
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Private part safety has many facets. I'll be sharing more about the nuances and intricacies that can help make teaching private part safety less stressful and more comprehensive.⁠⁠
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If you have a toddler, you'll want to check out my upcoming workshop that is specifically for parents in this stage and who are wanting to teach private part safety.⁠⁠

Have you started teaching private part safety and did you know to teach about private part exposure?⁠⁠
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I believe that kids should learn about safe vs unsafe touch so that they recognize when abuse is happening.

But that alone is not going to help prevent abuse.

I've talked about how a 50/50 rule is best when it comes to a more effective abuse prevention strategy.

This means that 50% of your work as a parent, when it comes to sexual abuse prevention, should be to teach your child's circle (family members/relatives, educators, caregivers, etc.) about body safety practices and how to implement them.

And the other 50% should be to teach your child about empowering consent education and abuse prevention information (strategically).

But where I find most parents miss the boat, in the 50% of teaching their kids, is that they don't equip them with the HOW to exit an unsafe situation and how to report/disclose what happened.

Rates of reporting are very low for this reason and it perpetuates the cycle of abuse that a child may be going through. This is why teaching kids ex...

Dear Pedophile & Child Molester,

I see you.

I see the way you were hurt or shamed by someone when you were young, and that this is why you feel you need to hurt someone smaller: to numb the open wound you always carry.

You have an illness.

And like a disease, if not brought under control, this illness will continue to spread through you until it corrupts every part of your humanity. 

But you can stop. This illness can be treated and cured. You don’t have to do this.

Hurt people, hurt people, and I know that maybe you’re deeply hurt and are deeply hurting innocent children.

I see how you resist admitting the truth to yourself: that this is really all about you taking control away from someone else because deep down you feel disempowered. 

I see the shame you feel inside and how it propels you to make decisions that spin you further down the shame spiral—in a self-corrosive and outwardly destructive cycle— where you’ve convinced yourself that your destiny ...

5 FOR 5! The top 5 abuse prevention books that all parents need for their kids!!!

5 FOR 5! Five things parents need to know before sending their child to a sleepover!

Download the free Sleepover Safety Checklist here: 
https://aboutconsent.lpages.co/sleepover-safety-pdf/

Learn the TOP 5 things to do BEFORE you send your child to DAYCARE, PRESCHOOL, or SUMMERCAMP in the next few weeks or months to prevent abuse.

Get my FREE Prepare to Prevent: Daycare/Summer Camp/ Preschool Guide
http://aboutconsent.com/prepare

If you'd like to learn more about my Prepare to Prevent Program, go here:
https://aboutconsent.lpages.co/prep-program/

5 FOR 5! FIVE THINGS I've learned as a parent in teaching abuse prevention, and how these can help you keep going!!!